In the End

under every moment of unrest 
I sit, smoking under the night sky
grasping to some resemblance of the past by
replaying patterns and traditions that lie
just below the surface.
the momentary comfort to cure this
feeling of unsettled illusion
the very thoughts and conclusions
i’ve been creating a trail away from...

without a map
directionless
and wandering
anxiously pondering
the patterns of love
shaped by preceding footprints
of battered and broken soles
that had no direction in the first place
i feel my heart race

mimicking soles of an unsteady pace
praying to god to replace
the unsteady rhythm with a simpler
steadier beat
one that i can repeat
in my mind
making the memorization of lessons learned
and heartaches earned
nothing more than a memory of the past

how to make it last?
questions and answers
that bring no ease to this wandering disposition
nor ever expectant of
this thing you call love....
it’s starting to make sense
for now, only in past tense
but discovering my ability to use it as a reference
rather than defense
is the direction thats starting to light my way
illuminated by this love from the past
that unknowingly, already guided me halfway
through realities of love lost
and love that defines love that never goes away
sometimes only realized through momentary disconnection
when the heart is free and clear
sometimes then and only then...can a love that deep and unconditional
appear

so i say now, you make it last through the laughter and the tears
you feel it to your core when you accept the beauty of what is and release all the irrational fears
it’s you and only you
and all the love that surrounds
it is your comfort, your protector and your best friend
and as far as I can tell
it will forever carry you through your journey
every moment, just waiting to lay
and rest with you in the end

Hey Little Girl

Hey little girl
I thought I’d drop by
To say hi
Cause I know I just don’t do it enough
I know that during the moments in my life that I’ve considered tough
I needed to consider you my diamond in the rough
To call my bluff
And help me replay
Every night and every day
Every moment that forced a piece of my heart and mind to stay
Locked inside the creation of these unprocessed feelings
I now only know how to hold at bay
If only I had known
If I only knew now how to replace my bad habits for more time with you
Maybe I’d have a little more clarity on how exactly to move through
These quick sand moments, have some faith to renew
I’d know how to act/what to do
How to unhinge the lies, projected through these eyes
And have the strength to face what is true
Have the strength to face you
Little girl

Yeah I think we should spend some time catching up
I’ll help you remember your innocence
If you help me grow up
I’ll guide you, steer you clear of experience you’re not ready to see
If you’ll hold my hand, while I stand
To face the reality of me
I’ll help you realize that little girl you always wanted to be
So I can finally embrace that little girl, and let her go free
I’ll be that friend you needed to find
To understand that overly curious mind
So you can be the friend I need to breakdown
The walls of insecurities I hide behind
And when you get anxious
I’ll be there to remind
You to slow down, you’ve got time
Cause no one knows
What the future holds
And I’ll let you speak the universal truth our heart has always told
To live love
And simply trust what unfolds

I’ll assure you that loving another is not
The only reason for you to live
So you can assure me that loving another
Is not solely based on only what I have to give
And we’ll learn together that loving yourself and loving another
Are plain and simply, not mutually exclusive

We’ll move in slow motion and rewind back to the start
Taking time apart
Uncovering the broken places where you needed my mind
To understand and where I needed your heart
I’ll let you do all the things I’m scared to do
I’ll take notes and won’t be scared to try
I’ll accept all the parts of you that I work so hard to deny
We’ll open your arms to vulnerability
While we kiss my pride good-bye
We’ll take turns watching the other play
Letting each other cry
We’ll face that oh so scary question why
With an even scarier question of why…not

Why not you and I take time to relax, reflect and discuss
On how to heal you, how to heal me
To make a better us
To make better
Whatever we’re meant to be for this world
I’m exposed, ready to be sized up
And broken down
By you little girl