If I can offer you any piece of advice it would be this:
Live now. Life is too damn short to simply wish things were different.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Let Me Live (The Prayer)

I’m ready to let you have it
and this may be all I have left to give
these very words to you
this is my last plea to let me live

So I’m gonna ask you:

How are you going to reach down inside me
to plant your seeds of hope
just to water me down with doubt
and no means or methods to cope

How are you going to build my heart
out of strength, humility and ration
just to make it pump through my veins
vulnerability, fear and passion

How are going to make me dig deeper
and apologize
When you knew damn well
those were the very efforts
that would only lead to my demise

How are you going to paint this picture of me
inside your extravagant expectation
just to leave me stranded
on a blank canvas
completely void of journey or destination

How are you going to make me question this life
but then offer no relief
how are you going to make me get down on my knees for you
when you knew I’d only end up standing in disbelief

How are you going fill my head
making me think there’s something different
something more
If this is it
if this is really all you have in store

I’d be okay with this reality
if you’d let me be okay with being done
and yet you keep my heart chasing
that something “big” has just begun

And I want to believe
I want to believe that you know what’s best
and that all these tears, fears and frustrations
really are just your test

Well I’ll be the first to tell you
I’ve failed this part
so it’s time for me to move on now
and reconnect with my heart

You know what I’m lookin for
You know what I have to give
so I’m asking for your help now
God, I need your help to let me live…

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Still No Words

still no words
come to mind
as my mind circles
thoughts and ideas
of this idea
of you

i'm left only with images
and graphics
that lend themselves
to my practice 
of practicing 

words are just no match 
for such effortless infatuation
to testament
and trepidation
surrounding a rational realization
a family foundation
for your reckless concentration
constantly connecting to a higher power
of disconnected determination
to make moves 
that move my bones
in a way they've never felt before

and yet i still have no words
words that have flowed simple 
and easy 
for past loves
and lovers 
and under my covers
were simply that...
and easy....
while you 
are anything but

rather you remain
the simplest seed
growing inside of me
expanding into complex
creating complicated objects
that intersect
the middle ground
of our worst
of our best
which has become the best
part of me...

so its no wonder 
no words
come easy 
for me
lay stagnant 
and still
for me
for that could never be
what you would ever be
for me

you will forever be
the contrary 
the one that pushes back 
that dares me
the one that scares me
then repairs me
that holds tight
then shares me
that prepares me
for a world i could only imagine
would never dare be
my reality

so no words 
still no words
come to mind
to describe this love....
this love thats in my heart
this love i've found... 
and still have yet to find

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

beyond this dead end....

I sat at this dead end
and tried to calculate my risk
but it just wasn't adding up
i was left with two remainders
fearful hesitation
or a blindfolded jump

so i jumped

and as i recall
bundled nerves of fear and excitement
fueled my will to fall
to break down my own stereotypical wall
to embrace the unknown
through the joy
through the pain
through it all

so i floated freely
setting sights
to new heights
a new fight
and new levitation
that drowned
the background
with a new song about concentration
that cared less about a location
and defining
a final destination
but rather on the surprises
on the rise as
i released expectation

this was about a new way a thinking

taking the world in
with child-like senses
i took the time
i took it in
and i dropped my defenses
i made peace
i made love
started speakin only in present tenses
i gave it up
i gave it all
forgetting all my prior expenses
as I gazed over these fences
and saw the beauty
that lay just past this dead end

i’m staring now at endless possibilities

shades and shadows of possibilities
lay beyond this dead end
beyond you
beyond me
beyond traditional experience
that provide a false guarantee
beyond perception
beyond rationality
beyond any idea of what it means to be free
beyond this dead end
await surprises of what this world needs me to be
beyond this poem
beyond these words
beyond a life
I have yet to see

beyond this dead end
it’s all just waiting for me…

i'm comin…

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Dead End

its no wonder
i hold a broken compass in one hand
and a broken heart in the other
sitting here now
at this dead end

i set sail on this journey
without discretion
or any means of detection
for these life altering connections
i've made...
least of all
the ones that sit with me
at this dead end

i watched labels
and inhibitions
with careful concentration
fly out car windows
and off roof tops
with no care
or anticipation
of their predestined
sitting next to me
at this dead end

days, months and years
tied together
blind eyes, smiles and tears
that exposed
tied tongues, hopes and fears
reassuring the voice inside hearts
and heads
that everything may never be as it appears
even now
even here
as it all sits with me
at this dead end

my body is anxious and sore
while my mind can only wish
and pretend
that it's not time to sit here
to sit alone with these memories
at this dead end

My Mind Wanders

To no end
and with no sign of where to begin
my mind wanders
around preverbal circles
made up of imaginary numbers and words

numbers and words that do their best
to be the best of intentions
imaginary inventions
built inside instincts
and conventions
held to the highest degree

360 degrees
my mind wanders
around this circle of reality
trying to find the perfect place to fit
this square of emotional confusion
bending and breaking
squeezing and taking
every ounce of energy in the making
from every side
and every corner
until i'm cornered

cornered inside this circle
of a wordless reality
that splits me down the middle
creating the emotionless duality
i see staring up, down and around me
every second of every day
with timeless punctuality
inundated from the outside
with no hope to get it out of me

no hope to get it out of me
and no hope to get it back in
inside the circle
my mind wanders around
wandering to no end...
and no sign of where to begin