If I can offer you any piece of advice it would be this:
Live now. Life is too damn short to simply wish things were different.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Lost and Found

I find myself lost
lost amidst my own rubble and debris
trying to find some resemblance of life
trying to find love...
trying to find memory

I thought I’d started on a path
that led towards my idealistic brighter day
but I’m starting to feel the sun on my back now
as I turn and walk away

and I’m not sure what I’m counting on
to reroute me on this track
but I know it won’t be easy
to find my way back

and I know it to be true, that I don’t wander alone
on what feels like a surface of quick sand
but it’s clear I’ve lost my balance
I no longer know my way
and have never been more uncertain about where I stand

for every path I’ve ever chosen
and for those that have chosen me
I’ve only ever wanted to leave behind love
but along the way…
I’ve somehow lost me

so if you happen to see me along your own way
wallowing in “failed expectations”
“vanished dreams”
or “mislaid means to cope”
please remind me of the path
that just lay slightly out of my eye sight
that finds truth....
that finds comfort...
that finds hope…


this hollow display that accidently found me
that twists and turns around me
proved too weak to withstand my falls and breaks
to make sense of broken memories
for yours and my sake....
premeditated mistakes
seep through in drones to haunt me
and i'm feeling them to my core
they're demanding i make immediate decisions
i haven't prepared for....
and i find myself walking this fine line
that was once radiant with possibilities
and now simply begs for peace and tranquility
from the double sided question that asks will it be
or me
that determines the outcome of this fate
or will it just be left unanswered
to drown out and deteriorate...
i'm scared to know now and i'm scared to wait
for the truth to be shown
but i know i can't stop it from coming
i can't run away from the unknown...
i can only remind myself
every moment of every day
of the bone clinching cliche
that nothing worth having
ever comes easy
can come and go
and truly may never stay...
so all i can do is stand to protect
what is here
what is now
in hopes to find some clarity
to part these clouds
some way
even if that clarity
are more grey tapestries
that take no time
and care little about casualties
there is no need for something so grand
something eternal
or profound
simply the knowledge
the courage
the open mind to feel confident
that every passing moment
is another chance
to turn it all around

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Broken Ending

reflecting on all the things I never said to you
and knowing now that I’ll never have the chance to
i’m comforted by the tears collecting in my eyes
full of regret
spilling drops of pain down my cheek
only to sink right back into my skin
and there you are again…
under my skin

hopeless attempts to reconnect
have led us to this dead end of misleading
and I miss you

and I feel like rolling over and dying
anything to stop the slide show of images
cycling behind my closed eyes
images of endless smiles
and kisses
friends forever….

that is until factors
and friendships
and circumstances
and create
harsh realities
reflecting off of an unforgiving fate of….

how is that even possible?

I won’t beg you to think twice...
to try...
to fight...
but I can assure you that the tears collecting in my eyes
full of regret
will quickly transfer to yours if you don’t
and their pain will spill down your cheeks
when you realize you want to try now…
and I won’t

convince yourself of what you will
I can no longer hold your hand
and I’ll remain confident that this outcome
is something neither of was wanted
that neither of us planned
and that I guess
things just don’t work out the way you planned

I’ll always be grateful for our memories
for every moment you’ve seen me through….
I’ll always miss it all….
I’ll always miss you