possibly
I meant to see it through to the end
perhaps
I should have trusted you to be my friend
suppose now
that I somehow
know how
to create for you and me
that reality
imagine the ability
to create such possibility
and to see the responsibility
piled upon perfect imperfections
crumble to invisibility
I try diligently
to figure out who will it be…
which one of us
is going to state the obvious
I try to conceive now
the very direction we’re going
though my heart can only believe now
theres no possible way of knowing
so all that I see now
behind your eyes and beneath the coding
is that its time to trust me now
and move beyond these memories that I’ve been holding
beyond a chase
beyond a goal
the means and the end
forever
is a long endeavor
that feels less like fighting for
without you friend
but I’ve become a champion at waiting
tabling the knots of my tied up heart strings
malingering in the meantime
dancing through daydreams
that every sleepless night brings
watching the way that my heart clings
to the clatter that makes my ears ring
to the words that my angles of fear sing
hopeless romantics, without wonder
without wings
and no expectation for all the silly things
I’ve planned for
they’ve no longer become what I stand for
i’m sitting down now
sitting to just be now
able to see
whats before me now
two sets of hands holding locks with no key now
and yet I still can’t seem to agree
with the reality that I see now
but I had my chance
and perhaps through happenstance
i’ve finally become free now
it’s all no longer up to me….now
