I wanna transform every single word
in every last poem I write
into the same
vain
filled daggers you used
to finish off my broken
and bleeding heart with
and so I start with
the sullen, the somber, the mundane
spirit that captured my heart
and then bound it in chains
the same
repetitious and vicious
domain
that worked my very last nerve
while working it’s way through my veins
giving birth to the addict
that now shakes and twitches
with the very utterance of your voice
and the very call of your name
I wanna use my lines to make clear
to every hopeful heart
bearing and open mind and an open ear
of what you left behind
every promising smile
the remnants and reality of a hopeless tear
one upon the other
endlessly flowing into your ocean of fear
leaving the only hope for survival
the grip around the life vest
found strapped around my tight chest
strangling the metaphoric representation of how you kept your distance
while keeping me near
only to be found
drowned
at the bottom
in your ocean
of my tears
I wanna make it clear
clear as the charcoal gray
answers you used to spew
when I would ask you
“are you still in love with me”
“were you ever in love with me?”
i wanna make your stomach flutter
in the same way that her words stuttered
falling from her mouth
trying to find some excuse
to cover up the truth
just long enough
for my heart and mind to call a truce
letting the thought once again run loose that
yeah….she’s still in love with me
and I have no idea what in the world
she could have possibly used
as content
to make me believe such nonsense
that in an instant could turn my defense
to offense...
but shit if it didn’t work…
thats how my heart would describe
the breakdown
of the pain now
how the hollow need
to have another believe
that the deepest love
she claimed to live
to give
and receive
was really nothing more
than the unresolved issues
of broken promises
broken bones
and a broken past
a gift wrapped heart
assembly required
turning true love into a task
a lengthy list built to outlast
the semantics
hopeless romantics
harbor to hold any hopes
of actually making love last
shit happened fast
yet feels like years upon my weak
and weary spirit
while time
reminds
me to feel it
sit and listen
and really hear it
as it works to rebuild, repair
and regain
a renewed vision of love
wiped clean
of the love
that was taken in vain
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