They Say

So I've been trying to write a poem for some time now around the concept of the things that "They" say. And I'm confident everyone knows what I'm talking about here because we've all been in conversations where someone (quite possibly ourselves) offers up what they consider to be and we accept as, a profound bit of wisdom solely based on the fact that it is something that "They say." "Well, you know what THEY say." "That's what they say!" "I heard them say..."


And frankly, all attempts to transform my frustration with the things that "They say," or rather our unabated acceptance and proclamation of the things that "They say", into magical metaphors flowing in a tight rhyme scheme have amounted to one big fail. So after all the wondering and wandering I've done around the origin and use of this awful and overused phrase, I realized that I wasn't so much interested in why we refer to the things that "They say" so much as I needed to know who the hell "They" were. Who are these mysterious "They" people? And how did “They” become the all knowing beings of the universe? Are we talking about God here? Because if we are, I'd really just rather you say that. I'm not saying I'd be more likely to believe you just because you told me that God says so. I'm a big gay lesbian, so clearly I wouldn’t believe you. I would however feel much more comfortable sloughing you and your sentiments off as crazy religious ramble rather than pondering for hours about who the hell "They" are and if I really need to be paying attention here.

So from now on...how bout we just stick reciting facts or quotes or statistics from actual sources as opposed to the unidentified "They." I have a feeling you’ll sound a lot more credible to whomever you’re speaking with.