Wounded

I’m broken
feeling myself standing on an edge
about to plunge
into an unknown abyss
about to take a risk
that I’m trying to convince myself

has been calculated

and I’m feelin frustrated
at the fact that every thought and emotion
I’ve debated
with the earth
the sun
the moon
and the stars
have only left scars
that run endlessly into my veins

and I’d be okay
with the origins of this pain
if the deep lacerations
left some remnants of truth
some remnants of you
something tangible
something to hold onto

but as these wounds
were inflicted
I couldn’t stop the bleeding
they poured out everything
and drenched the ground beneath me
every reaction
every reason
every memory of love
and love lost
I’d always counted on to complete me

gone...

so I stand now in the puddle
of my remains
contained
in a broken mind storm
that once rained
confident questions
and animated concentration
to what is now
a dehydrated blank slate
unable to feel
unable to heal
unable to deal
with wasted time
and hesitation

I’ve been bleeding for too long
left my remains
all across this nation
I’m broken
I’m done
this part of my life
needs no more formal education

so in an act of desperation
I stand at this edge
ready to make my plunge
confidently
careless
emotionless
directionless
broken once again
and ready to see
if the wounds I endure tomorrow
will leave anything left inside of me