If I can offer you any piece of advice it would be this:
Live now. Life is too damn short to simply wish things were different.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

How lucky we could be....

I met a male to female transgender woman at church today. Lets call her Patricia. I'd seen Patricia at church before but had never formally introduced myself. And we only met today because she was sitting in the row in front of me during the peace offering. She turned, extended her hand and said "Hi, I'm Patricia. Peace be with you." And I have to admit, from then on, I was a bit distracted in church. Not because of Patricia, but because of my own stream of thoughts that followed our meeting:

I first thought: It's so nice that Patricia has a community and a church that is open and accepting of her entire being. I'm grateful to be apart of that community.
I then thought: I wonder what she does for work. I wonder what people are like to her outside of this community. People that pass her on the street or stand next to her in the line at the grocery store. I wonder what kind of world she faces when she's not here. I wonder if she has a partner. A lot of friends. Any friends.
My next thought was: I wonder how my parents would react if I transitioned.

I have no desire to transition but I became curious to know how my family would deal with such a decision, which ultimately spawned my next thought: My journey in life is to figure out how to be the best "me" I can be. I will only make the world a better place if I truly fulfill what I know is best about myself. I must put myself in situations that make me a better person, do the things that make me happy, that I know I'm good at and ultimately fulfill my destiny.

That last thought made me ask the question: So how could a parent, a friend, a passer on the street, a church, a group of people, etc. who are NOT me, ever be concerned about me doing what makes me happy or what I know is right and best for ME? How can anyone that is not me tell me the way I live my life, the things I do, the people I associate with, the groups I'm apart of are wrong? And above all, how could anyone ever feel sad for me, dismiss me, estrange themselves from me....if this is just me? If this is how I make the world the best world it can be? If I do these things for the betterment of the very people that may reject me? How could anyone else, seeing as we're all on this same journey to be the best "ME," ever tell me the way I'm doing it is wrong? How is it not possible for EVERYONE to see the beauty and the benefit in a person making themselves the best person they know how to be?

How lucky would we all be if every person on this Earth felt comfortable, assured and supported in finding and following with all their heart their true destiny? How lucky would we all be if every person on this Earth remained flexible to skewed perceptions of tradition, society, pop culture, fads and norms and could see through to the hearts of each persons own unique make up...whatever it may be?

I'm not sure if it was meeting Patricia, being in the presence of God, being amongst some of the best friends in the world or a combination of all three that got me to thinking about all of this, but I am certain of what I took away from it: As I think about creating a family of my own and raising thoughtful, loving children, I'll be damn sure to pass along one very clear message--Pay very close attention to all of your OWN life's opportunities and possibilities and follow the ones that speak to every ounce of your being. Pay no mind to onlookers, naysayers, people of the like or to the opportunities and possibilities that others are finding and following. Trust yourself and take action. Then and only then, will I feel confident that your presence will do what it was intended to do on this Earth. And what a beautiful thing it will be....and how lucky we will all be.

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