"Her"

“Her”
It was the essence of "her"
the mere presence of "her"
that prompted my vacillation
to provide a solid explanation
in my lines
when i began receiving signs
of all kinds
that my minds
eye, had been lookin in a new direction
with a brand new process of selection
for love and affection
and with my heart and soul showing no objection
i allowed these feelings to invade
but still with my words no effort was made
for homage in rhyme to her was never paid

because back then
was when
fear of perception was what held my pen
from others looking in
and even from the glare of my own eyes
my passion became something i had to fictionalize
and by no surprise
my words had formed stories i couldn't begin to recognize

can you imagine something so absurd
poems lost and hesitation incurred
allowing my voice to be bound and gird
by the fear of using one 3 letter word
it was "her" i was dying to say
with "her" i wanted to spend my day
"her" was who i wanted to stay
all the while telling myself if was they
they that stood in my way
battled to no end
because they couldn't comprehend
the reason i had to pretend
that "her" was NOT my godsend
that "her" was NOT the one to mend
the pieces of my shattered body and broken soul
that "her" was the one I couldn't openly extol
feelings with which THEY couldn't understand and i couldn't control
hidden feelings that began to take their toll
a point at which i could no longer console
and had to disagree
with my frustrated vision of the ones i could see
and i realized i needed to move that finger 180 degrees
cause clearly the only one standing in my way was me

i had always been free
to make my choice
to give my feelings for "her" a voice
allowing my words to form a confession
to show my obsession
through my own form of expression
that "her" had become the center of my being
inside "her" was where i was fleeing
that "her" was all I was really seeing
it was "her"
my words now form for "her"