I've been away from home (on the complete opposite coast) for close to 4 years now. I've been fortunate enough to live on both coasts and experience the vast difference between the two. I have also been extremely lucky in developing a group of friends in my current location that are outstandingly loving and supportive. They have helped me define what it means to "create" your family. Something I've never had to do because of my extremely close connection to my blood family.
I always planned on my time away from my family to be limited. I was anxious for the experience but always knew I would return to the place I grew up having brought with me all the experiences I have gained from being so far away. But the longer that I am away, the more disconnected I feel from home. Or perhaps just that "idea" of home. I guess this merits the question "what is home" or perhaps the clichéd question "where is home." I suppose that no matter how close or far you are to where you grew up, these questions still abound in everyone’s mind. But it's a question that scares me in a way that I've never felt before.
"They" say you can always go home. But can you? Is there a point you reach when you've been away for so long that going home to where you grew up almost feels like going "back" to a foreign place? And that perhaps, simply because you grew up there, doesn't necessarily mean you belong there? And if that is the case, how do you find comfort in knowing that where your blood family is located....might not be the best place for your own individual growth, experience and "life."
Can you always go home?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great question.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I think home is two different places; emotional (family) and physical (city).
Your physical home is simply where you have adjusted. Even if you return to the East, you will feel you have left your "home" on the West. What's strange is when you return home and so much has changed that you feel misplaced. The city has matured without you.
Your emotional home is more complex. No matter how much family grows, there is an unspoken bond that out ranks time.
The two are the same, as you've pointed out, in that there is the home you were raised in, and the home you have selected (physical and emotional). You can always return to both, but you have to be prepared for the possiblity of differences in you and in home. That may be why it feels so good to just reminisce.
You belong where you can create a home that satisfies both, FOR YOU; knowing you can always connect with homes of your past.
Fin.