Reason Why

theres a reason why I’m gone
and you’re still there
(Inspired by the lyrics of Rachel Yamagata’s “Reason Why”)

baby….
looking back with no regret
and my heart in debt
to receiving
all you could give at the time
I’m just wondering if you’ve figured it out yet
the way I figured
and didn’t forget
it was my heart I chose to bare
in an effort to share
the oh so familiar
along with the silently rare
sides of me

baby I tried to make you see
the degree
of the crucial sincerity
locked up inside of me
and how you effortlessly
opened me up
when you talked deep
made my thoughts come cheap
and allowed me to sleep
inside of you

but baby…theres a reason why I’m gone
and you’re still there

my intentions became my actions
while yours fluidly waxed and waned
contained
in your unexplained
frame of mind
while I never complained
and by the same token
I simply patched over the unspoken
broken
movements
with lilies and lavender
dope little ditties
and praising your pity
every chance I got

every chance became my seconds.
minutes.
days.
until I eventually forgot the ways
you could make me laugh
and all those other fun and silly clichés
that all fades
into an unrecognizable haze

now baby…theres a reason why I’m gone
and you’re still there

those eyes that began to appear
overridden with fear
glistening through each and every tear
that fell down your cheek

confessing your love
confessing the internal war
expressing your love
expressing it behind a closed door
and now suppressing your love
cause I just couldn’t take it anymore

you
there
unable to claim the identity desired
because it was unappreciated by the masses
clinching to the hope that the discomfort of living a lie
it passes
telling yourself that the grass is
always greener
in the pastures where the mind is the majority rule
over the heart
and baby…that’s all that sets us apart.

theres a reason why I’m gone
and you’re still there