Just Me

i fear my time to light
may just take a bit longer than i'd planned
a longer distance from where i am
there's something about this grip around my throat
that doesn't seem to want to weaken or let go
its making me light-headed
headed down the wrong way of a one way street
away from me
my mind is aware but seems to have no control over
any complete steps directing my feet
to the point where i retreat and wonder
whoever thought it would take all this
tiny memories and thoughts to reminisce
that actually doesn't seem to add up to all that much
all that i'm made of
yet it breaks my spirit, my soul
and all my faith in love
all this little stuff adding up
to a sum so contradictory
maybe it will help me see
and start to understand what i'm afraid of
maybe it's love
or maybe it's just me